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Remember the days in the 90s when women would be happy doing that household chores every day, only to wait for their macho husbands to come to bed at night and please the “lady” down there… for like… 15 seconds(?) Ugh!

Fast forward to the 2020s, and you know it’s time to take things back into our own hands. You can never get enough of a buffet of toys on our platter in TooTimid! But yes, I being a lady, understand how confusing and frustrating it is to buy your first sex toy. When I got myself my first, I was dazzled by the collection. I had no clue what to choose amongst rabbit vibrators, wands, soft dildos, silicone dildos, and let’s not even get into the various materials they come in!

So, this article is for you. I’ve given you the 5 golden rules or tips you should keep in mind if you’re getting out there to buy your first *naughty toy*. Yea, I don’t like the phrase “sex toy” very much because, more often than not, these toys score way better than your average vanilla “sex”!

1. Nobody knows your spots better than you.

If it’s your first hint at sex toys, take my advice and DON’T listen to your partner.
Ask yourself what kind of sensation gets you off the quickest. Ask yourself whether you enjoy shoving a throbbing rod up your vag or are you more of a small peepee girl.

It’s you who’s going to enjoy it, so ask yourself and then narrow it down on your list. Only then, my girl, will you end up with a toe-curling orgasm every damn time!

For starters,

• If you enjoy a big thick veiny meat up your moist vag, go for realistic dildos.
• If you think you’ll like something vibrating on your clit, go for finger vibrators.
• Say, if you imagine you’ll be your wettest to have a vibrating dick inside you(!), try out vibrating dildo.
• If you want something cute and sweet curving to hit the G-spot, go for soft dildos.
• If you want to peg your partner, go for strap on dildos.

2. Do thorough research online.

If you’re one of those shoppers who just closes their eyes and buys randomly: your orgasm will take a while. But if you’re the cautious one, especially in terms of sex, then yea, girl, you’re going to get your toe-curler tonight!

Don’t forget to check the “Body Safe” label. You will be glad to know that.

That being said, let me also remind you that the reviews on sex toy websites are highly subjective to one’s sexual preferences. So take everything with a pinch of salt. Don’t fret much if a review complains about the “size” or how “soft” it feels, but instead look out for reviews that complain about the product quality and wearability.

3. Check out the material.

After you narrow down on the product type and brand, check out the material it is made up of. Generally, six materials can be blessed: glass, metal, plastic, rubber, silicone, and wood. Each material has pros and cons, depending on how you plan to use it.

For instance, I’d suggest glass and metal because they’re non-porous (no yucky bacteria in those micropores!) and recyclable. Plus, you can use it with silicone lubes in the shower! *wink wink*

But if you prefer a bendable dildo, then rubber soft dildos and silicone dildos would be your best bet.

Whatever you choose, be wary of how you should use it and clean it.

4. Look out for sex toy reviewers and DM them if need be

I can’t stress this enough!

Many online reviewers get their hands on various sex toys and review them, saving you from all the hassle.

And trust me, you have no idea how approachable these beautiful women are. Just drop them a text putting up your concerns, and more often than not, you’ll get a satisfactory reply within 48 hours, at max!

Since this is your first investment into this universe of sex toys, make sure you like the toy before buying it. Or else, a wrong first step might just shoo you away from enjoying such cherished pleasures of life.

5. Bigger does not equal Better.

No, honey, you don’t need to shove in a 10” strap on dildo as you see in porn to enjoy a good orgasm. Like with sex, don’t follow up on porn. 90% of what they show are just fantasy flics made to engage silly guys.

As I said, the only person who you should ask about your options is yourself. Don’t go for adventurous upheavals like buying a horsecock silicon dildo or an octopus butt-plug on the first go. If you buy it, you’ll probably use it once or twice and regret every penny. So take your time and go slow at first. Try out the regular soft dildos or smaller-than-regular silicone dildos, and then, if you feel daring and comfortable enough, go for it, girl. The sky’s the limit!

After these 5 golden tips, chances are you won’t fail like me and buy yourself a 5-tentacle dildo on your first day. Hey! Don’t judge!

And now, the last tip for you: Don’t be hard on yourself or anyone else for their sexual choices. Your partner might love you a ton and praise you in bed but still want a 12” dildo, and it’s beautiful; it’s got nothing to do with you. I can’t stress this enough. Sex toys are very personal, so don’t judge anyone for what they like behind closed doors, including yourself. I know many beautiful ladies who don’t dare to try out new toys even if they want to, just because they feel “it isn’t right” or “It’s like cheating.” No lady, enjoying oneself with toys isn’t equal to cheating. Instead, it’s more like upgrading your masturbating sessions to a new level.

It’s like you can reach new depths like never before. Pun intended!

You get your new toy, and bless me with a good orgasm! Oh, and about that 5-tentacle dildo… It was just a joke, silly. Or was it? *wink wink*